Do you speak English? When I ask that, I mean do you speak English-English, cause there are two types of the same language. It’s the language that we actually speak versus the language that our mind wants to speak! Oh yeah, there is also one more division, that would be the Man vs Women English!
Oh this magnificent mind of ours …
Here is how the WOMEN’S ENGLISH sounds like:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
And here is ho the MEN’S ENGLISH is:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let’s have sex now!
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
9. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
10. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay